A first date can be a nervous experience for both men and women especially if you are meeting from an internet dating site, whether you are meeting someone for the first time or even if you have known each other for sometime and now want to start dating. Our 25 online dating tips will help you even if you are looking at speed dating or online dating safety tips.
So much to think about, where to meet, what to eat / drink, what to wear, what to talk about!
Of course the best piece advice anyone can give is be yourself. You of course want the other person to like you for you, not a persona or act.
That being said it always helps to plan ahead. Have a set agenda that you can focus your mind on, and a forward thinking plan always helps the body deal with nerves as you will be already prepared.
We have put together 25 Top Dating Tips to help you plan ahead.
We all know that planning every little detail is a sure way to end up disappointed – not to mention risking coming across as boring and predictable; but some planning is required, such as the location of your first date and a rough idea of what you will both do – the cinema, a meal, drinks in a bar etc. It is important to plan at least something otherwise your first date may be spent wondering around the streets trying to think of something to do! While on a summer evening this could be deemed as romantic, it will not be so if it is pouring with rain!
Whatever is planned and whoever makes the plan, be sure to communicate with the other person. There is certainly nothing more daunting than not knowing where you’re going or what to wear and too much uncertainty may create a very nervy start.
As a first date location it is best to keep things as neutral as possible. Not only will the other person feel a little awkward at their date’s home when neither have previously met; but it is also not a good idea to let your first date know exactly where you live – just in case you never want to see them again! Ideally choose a location that is for both to get to, familiar to both of you and inspires or appeals to both your interests. An art gallery and a picnic lunch could be a perfect first date for arty types for example.
However, don’t make the mistake of choosing a location that you would never find appealing, only to please or suit your date – if the relationship blossoms, you’ll either have to keep up the pretence or be honest that you have no interest in such places which will induce questions such as Why did you take me there on our first date? Etc!
Another classic mistake people make on a first date is talking far too much about themselves. Maybe it’s nervousness or maybe it’s simply trying too hard to impress; whatever the reason, it usually has the opposite to the desired effect. At its’ worst is can appear rude, arrogant and self absorbed (not characteristics anyone wants to own); at best it can be boring, un-attentive and could make the other person on the date feel like a spare part! Whilst it is important to have something to say about yourself, it is always best to be asked a few basic questions. It enables both people to talk about themselves, but it also allows them both to show that they are interested in their date, that they want to get to know you and they welcome your differences, hobbies, interests and views. It also makes for a much more balanced, free flowing conversation and you’ll both quickly identify things in common with one another if you’ve both had the chance to express yourselves.
Bringing out the ex-files on a first date is never a good idea; especially if the relationships ended badly as it is likely to bring out any feelings of anger, upset or bitterness you may still have – not a great way to enjoy a first date. Sometimes though, it is simply unavoidable for the subject to come up – in these instances it is fine to mention ‘The Ex’, but keep it to a minimum. Try to avoid going into the details of how and why you split up, the full analysis of the relationship and how you feel now – this could be a deal breaker. However, if your first date becomes a lasting companion, bringing out the ex-files can tell you a lot about the other person – their motivations, desires, priorities etc, which could be helpful information!
Exuding confidence is sexy and attractive to everyone. If you can convince yourself you are confident, you will start to appear more attractive which will in itself give you more natural confidence – its’ a good cycle. Of course, being complementary to your date (don’t go overboard or it could be clichéd or even creepy) is lovely for them to receive and shows that you are interested. But, you can also be complementary to yourself; of course, don’t start bragging about how wonderful and beautiful you are, but certainly avoid putting yourself down on your first date (or even subsequent dates). Putting yourself down can evoke many negative things towards your date – it may force them to have to lie if they are particularly polite, or they could simply think that you are fishing for complements. At worst they may feel you have very low self esteem issues which may put them off all together.
If, after a few minutes of getting to know someone on a first date you realize that you really do like them, try not to spend the rest of the evening analyzing how well the date is going. Live in the moment and enjoy their company – you’ll be more yourself in that way and you’ll actually relax and enjoy yourself. The chances are, if you do relax, the date will go well and you won’t feel the need to analyse anyway.
Of course, it is important to be yourself and to be honest. It is also important to have a few conversation starters to be able to rely on. It is highly recommended, however, to avoid the big issues that invariably provoke strong reactions. Topics such as war, abortion, political leaning etc are best avoided on a first date. However, they will need to come up on future dates – especially if the other person’s opinion could potentially be a deal-breaker for you, if they oppose your view on a subject you feel passionate about.
Everyone appreciates a sense of humour, even if it is a different type to their own. Rather than constantly focusing on getting to know one another, you could simply recount a funny anecdotal story of something that happened on the way to meeting up with your date. Not only will this break the ice, make you both laugh together and relax a little more, you will also get to know her or his sense of humour. Also, by telling a story rather than asking lots of questions, you’ll greatly reduce the risk of the date feeling like a job interview.
